D Withdrawals

I don't know what has been going on lately, but I am having serious D withdrawals while I am away from him. Of course I love him and think that he is the most beautiful baby in the world, but it is getting harder and harder to be away from him. I find myself speeding to get home just to see him smile at me and start bouncing around as soon as I walk into the door. I get up in the middle of the night just to walk in there and stand beside his crib while he sleeps. I constantly think of him during the day. I pull up my pictures on my computer and look through all of them several times while I am at work (starting with his birth pictures on 7 January 06). I go through 8 months of pictures several times a day. It's crazy, I know. But I can't help it. I scoop him up as soon as I get home and I don't ever want to let him go. I cannot take my eyes off of him. My god, I never in my life would have imagined that motherhood would be so wonderfully rewarding. Even when my beautiful work clothes turn into squash stained homeless looking clothes, I love him even more at those times. When my hair style is held together with pears and apples, I think of how his eyes are so enchanting... They can hold me there for hours. I feel guilty coming to work because I should be there one with him all day. I feel guilty at his bedtime because I haven't got to spend enough time with him. I feel guilty when I let him get all wrinkled during his 30 minute bath because I love to just sit there beside the bathtub and watch him play. It amazes me that it amazes him to put all of his toys into the bucket and turn around and take them out. That has been his latest entertainment and I sit amazed that he thinks it's so cool. He used to think just sitting there smiling at me while sucking on his wash cloth was the coolest, but hey, I guess we all grow, don't we. I've gotten over my new baby fever because now all of my emotions are dedicated to my three lovely children.

Skipping ahead, I have decided to sign up for my teaching classes beginning in October instead of right now. Currently I am way too busy hating my job to faithfully concentrate on my new career training. Hopefully it will all work out well and quickly. I am wanting to ensure that all of my training is completed by December in case there are job opening over the Christmas break. That would be a dream come true to me. I am getting all excited just thinking about it. Gosh, I would love a new career, the constant interaction with people who actually think of something besides poking into other people's business and causing trouble, I would be working 12 miles closer to home, I could actually get off work in time to be there for all of H and S's sports and activities. Please be praying for because I am really hoping that it all works out!!